I’ve been struggling to do much public writing (though I’ve been hard at work writing reports). That’s why it may seem that I have dropped off the face of the world — at least from the perspective of someone who sees me primarily through my blog.
I used to promise that I would be back in the saddle in my blogging, that I would be regularly writing. That remains the goal. I just won’t promise to do until I know I am able to deliver.
I’ve been amazed with the intense ups and downs of emotion that I’ve been experiencing the last several months. At the highest of high moments, I feel as though the world had become suddenly transparent, all complications melt away, barriers to change crumble as I can effortlessly jump up to a new plane of existence. At the low moments, the bad old things not only re-emerge but do so with a haunting vigorous condemnation; I then feel all-too-limited and frail. This morning, I’m learning to move ahead with a quieter contentment that is sober and resolute.
In the past, I have found writing very early in the morning to be a very productive and rewarding discipline. I’ve been spending time far away from such a habit but decided last night to attempt a return this morning. So here I am, trying to write. Surprising revelation: nothing comes immediately!
As we were flying in last night from Boston at about 8:15pm, the sunlight was still illuminating the hills, valleys, and waterways of the Bay. Light and shadow that late in the day! I was really happy to come back home — although my time in Boston and the Albany area was quite wonderful. Actually, wonderful is not quite the right word — since it does not do justice to the richness of the time away. More later perhaps….